Scarily Cheery Harry
by MissLinuxthePenguin
Summary: AUOOTP Sirius Black finds 'Moody Harry' absent from the breakfeast table, and in his place 'Scarily Cheery Harry' is sitting there. And Padfoot is determined to find out why his favorite Godson has gone all... cheery. Future HPGW InProgress
1. Happy

**Happy**

MissLinuxthePenguin

**Summary:** AUish OOTP Sirius Black finds 'Moody Harry' absent from the breakfeast table, and in his place 'Scarily Cheery Harry' is sitting there. And Padfoot is determined to find out why his favorite Godson has gone all... cheery. Future HPGW

* * *

Slumping into the nearest chair, Sirius Black stared at the bowl of porridge sitting in front of him. Personally, he thought the porridge was rather disgraceful in its extreme dull grayness - which only worsened his rather disgracefully dull mood. 

Grimacing, he turned to look at his godson - expecting to be greeted by 'Moody Harry', as Moony dubbed him last week.

And, as horrid as it sounds, Sirius was... annoyed to find that 'Moody Harry' was indeed absent from the breakfeast table and 'Scarily Cheery Harry' had taken his place. Who just happened to be Happily and Cheerily eating his serving of porridge.

Turning back to his porridge Sirius scowled. This, indeed, was not a good day for all that was dull and gray.

He poked the porridge, causing the slush to move unnaturally. How did this qualify as Molly Weasley cooking? It couldn't be. He wouldn't believe it. She would never try to pass this rancid, gray goop off as porridge.

But if Molly Weasley hadn't cooke-

"Wotcher Sirius."

Tonks. He gulped, meanwhile thanking Merlin that he had the common sense not to try eating the .. goop. He glanced at 'Scarily Cheery Harry' who, by the looks of it, was experiencing the side effects of ingesting too much Tonks-Prepared-Porridge-Imitation-goop. He was smiling, like the world was about to end.

"Wotcher Harry."

"Morning Tonks." Sirius' brain was hurting, this was just too mind numbing Harry was just too .. cheery. Then suddenly the wheels finally turned in ol' Padfoot's brain-

_It couldn't be..._

He looked back at Harry. And sure enough...

"As much as I love to say and eat... um... I forgot to feed Buckbeak. You know how grumpy he gets. When... I forget to ... feed him." With that, he darted out of the kitchen and raced up the stairs.

"Didn't he just feed Buc-"

"Yes, Harry, Sirius isn't one for ... the fine art of subtly "

* * *

"MOONY." Sirius had gone from disgracefully dull to paranoia in less than ten minutes, it was an all time record for him and his phobias. 

Unfortunately for Sirius, he was a slow learner when it came to social do's and don'ts, and still hadn't realized that it was both socially inappropriate and just plain stupid to wake a sleeping werewolf.

Aforementioned werewolf tried to smoother himself with a pillow, desperately trying to drown out the "WAKE UP MOONY"s and the "ITS AN EMERGENCY"s. In the end it was, "HARRY'S DYING" that drove him to throw the pillow at Sirius.

"You Wanker. I was SLEEEPING. You know? Its what NORMAL people do." I told you it was just plain stupid to wake a sleeping werewolf, afterall they're rather grumpy in the mornings and in general are not morning people.

"Fine. Don't listen to what I have to say." Sirius proceeded to walk towards the door, pausing to give Remus and chance to say something.

"Merlin, you prat, what did you wake me up for."

"Harry.." Sirius reverted back to his paranoid self. "He's got that .. HAPPY LOOK."

Remus looked up, "You mean James' happ-"

"Yes. James' happy look."

And then there were two paranoid ex-Mauraders.

Remus, being the sensible one finally stopped panicking long enough to ask "So what are we going to do about it?"

Sirius shrugged, "I dunno. You Moony are the idea guy and I am the go to guy."

* * *

"Tonks.." Harry was, in the least bit, worried. His father's two best friends had been acting rather strange all morning, and it was beginning to creep him out. Just a bit. "Do they... act like this all the time?" Of course, Harry wouldn't have known. After all, he was at school the whole time and not forced to deal with the two's antics.Tonks, on the other hand, had been stuck playiny Babysitter. 

"Nope, today is one of their better days. Which is saying something, since they haven't taken their medication yet." Smirking, Tonks went back to reading her book. Young minds were so easily manipulated.

And so, Harry became even more scared of his ex-Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher and his Godfather.

* * *

"You're sure he's James-Happy?" Remus was worried. This was not good, not good at all. 

"Positive. Its ... its.. HORRIFYING." Sirius cringed, glancing around the corner to make sure Harry and Tonks were still in the parlor area.

"Which year?"

"Third Year James-Happy"

It was Remus' turn to panic. "WHAT? OH SHIT. We're in deeper ..."

"Yes, we are so .."

"Dead? Screwed? Etc?"

"All Three."

* * *

"Tonks?" Tonks looked up from the book, looking at the lanky teenager sitting next to her. 

"Huh?"

"When are the Weasley's coming over?"

"They should be here anytime, why?"

"Oh. No reason." Tonks smirked, noticing the faint hints of red that graced the young adult's cheeks.

* * *

"You're positive he was Third Year James-Happy?" 

"REMUS I SAID I WAS POSITIVE."

The sound of someone tumbling out of the fireplace, distracted the two enough to forget their troubles and rush into the parlor room.

"Hi Harry." Ginny stumbled out of the fireplace, and gracefully fell into Harry's arms.

Turning a bright red that could rival Ginny's hair, he stumbled over words "Er.. Hello Ginny."

"I told you he was third year happy."

**

* * *

A/N**: MUWHAHAHAHA.

don't you get it?

Cuz, apparently, James realized he was obsessed with a miss Lily Evans in third year.

HINT HINT NUDGE NUDGE.


	2. Gawky

**Gawky**

MissLinuxthePenguin

PoV: Hired Narrator

Things were... Awkward. Then again, awkward is a very mild term. Things were inappropriate, inconvenient, inopportune, embarrassing, uncomfortable, problematic, compromising, and gawky.

Very gawky. (And yes, that is indeed a word. If you must, I recommend a dictionary and some well crafted reading glasses. But that, is just my preference and the author is poking me rather hard and telling me to just finish narrating her ! story. FINE. MERLIN. Temperamental authors.)

Now she says I have to present the reader with an example. So, I being the brilliant narrator I am, remember that she is the one paying me. So here's my first-rate example. Its exceptional, illustrious, and luminous.

_"Harry, can you pass me the salt?"_

_"Huh?"_

_"Salt, Harry. Salt."_

_"Oh. Um.. okay."_

_"No Harry thats the PEPPER. I need the SALT."_

Apparently that was not, according to Miss Author, a suitable example. So I must give you another one. (It shall be even more luminous than the previous! It shall shed light onto your confusion, and thicken my pay check!)

And, of course, it shall also be very cliche. But hey, I'm getting paid minimum wage here (without the pay check thickening) You can't expect me to come up with clever examples all the time.

_"Harry.. Er.. Earth to Harry. "_

_"What Ginny?"_

_"Your elbow's in the butter dish. And .. well I'm trying to make toast. And as grand as Harry Potter Elbow Toast might taste, I'd rather just stick with butter and jam."_

Fate is devious in its irony-istic ways. Twisting the world to its favor, pouring water on cats and doing such things. If Sirius Black was not, in fact, living one might have blamed him. But Sirius Black was as alive as a blade of grass on a refreshing spring day. And so, it was fate tormenting Harry.

(Is that better, Miss Author? ... I'm assuming not, since you just threw a book at me you demonic barbaric monstrosity! FINE FINE. I'm getting back to my paragraph.. No need to dock my pay, honesty!)

Not that fate isn't always tormenting him. I mean he's the bloody-boy-who-lived. Fate has been on his case since before he was born!

Regardless of Mister Potter and his endless battles with Fate, irony (unlike lighting) struck twice in Grimmuald Place.

(Time for a very very pro example. Are you ready?)

_"Remus.. what are you doing on the floor?"_

_"Er... Um... Books?"_

_"Remus, I hate to break it to you- but there are no books on the floor."_

_"I tripped?"_

_"Over what?"_

_"Remus, there's nothing to trip over!"_

_"My shoe."_

_"...Would you like some help up?"_

_"Yes please."_

_"I swear, Remus, you're almost becoming as clumsy as me!"_

Now, Mssr. Sirius Black (aka Padfoot) was fully aware of only ONE of these ironic acts of fate.

(If you cannot remember what happened in chapter one, the Author tells me to tell you to click the back button and read it again. then review. then send her cookies. and presents and.. now she's threatening to throw the stapler at me. She just wants you to click the back button, maybe review. All that blarmey about cookies and presents was my creativity running amok.)

And he was just about to discover the other...

------------ THE NARRATOR IS TAKING HER COFFEE BREAK. SO HERE TO ENTERTAIN YOU...

_**Mssr. Moony would like to state his extreme dislike towards the newly hired narrator.**_

_**Mssr. Padfoot would like to tell Mssr. Moony that Mssr. Moony has more to worry about then paranoid narrators.**_

_**Mssr. Prongs would like to point out the fact that both Mssr. Padfoot and Mssr. Moony should be happy, since they are not, like he is, dead. And that he is laughing at the from beyond the grave .**_

_**Mssr. Moony would like to comment, but he is unavailable at the moment. **_

_**Mssr. Prongs suspects that he is bodily harming Mssr. Padfoot**_

_**Mssr. Padfoot would like to congratulate Dead Mssr. Prongs for being right. Which is normally Mssr. Moony's job.**_

_**Mssr. Moony would like to tell the narrator to get back to her job.**_

_**Mssr. Prongs agrees since he was having a nice time being dead, and has a game of blackjack very soon that he does not want to miss.**_

_**Mssr. Padfoot wonders if they really have blackjack in the great beyond..**_

_**Mssr. Prongs reassures him that they do, and that the mead is much better than the crap they sell on Earth.**_

_**Mssr. Padfoot would like to ask Mssr. Moony to kill him now.**_

_**Mssr. Moony acknowledges that he will not do the job a curtain will do in the far-off future.**_

_**Mssr. Padfoot wants to know what Mssr. Moony has been smoking.**_

_**Mssr. Moony pleads the fifth.**_

_**Mssr. Prongs would like to bring around the fact that Mssr. Moony is pleading a constitutional amendment, while he is on British turf. **_

_**Mssr. Padfoot wonders how Mssr. Moony graduated from kindergarten.**_

_**Mssr. Moony expresses his belief that Mssr. Padfoot never did graduate from kindergarten.**_

_**Mssr. Prongs seconds the motion.**_

_**Mssr. Padfoot would like to point out that there was no motion.**_

_**Mssr. Moony motions that Mssr. Padfoot should be sent back to kindergarten.**_

_**Mssr. Padfoot would like to tell the reader that this is just a lead-up to the plot and this meaningless conversation is over as of now.**_

--- END OF COFFEE BREAK

So. Where was I?

OH! Sirius discover's Remus' slight obsession with a certain cousin of Sirius'

.. Well, that is what is GOING to happen. But I kinda.. ruined it. REGARDLESS.

You have all been mind-wipped.

As of .. now.

Anyone who forgets what gender they are, or which gender they wish to pursue in life can send their complaints to .. the author.

Because by the time you finish reading this, I shall be fired.

NoW FOR THE TALE.

Because I would like to receive some pay for my pro-narratoring skills.

-------------

Sirius Black was very bored. It was unlawful, and against nature, but he was bored. And desperately trying to avoid his godson, whom he believed to be a ticking time bomb waiting to ... destroy whatever fragments of sanity Sirius Black had.

The boredom and the avoiding are fine enough, but neither explain why Sirius Black was hiding in the library.

When later questioned by teenaged girls with sharp quills, he would admit that he figured nobody would find him there and that he had a secret passion for smelling books.

But until then, nobody needed to know that.

During his hideout in the library, Sirius Black found that the Library was indeed not abandoned.

Sitting in a dust-covered lounge chair was Remus J. Lupin.

"Moony? What are you doing here?"

"Er..." Remus had never been good at lying. "Er.. reading?"

"Moony, even you are not smart enough to be able to read a book upside down."

"Er.. hiding?"

"ME TOO!"

"Padfoot?"

"Yes. See I, like you, am hiding."

"Er.. that's nice."

"So, who are you hiding fro-"

"Remus, do you know where Molly keeps the tea pot?"

"Er.." He was blushing, dear Merlin, he hadn't blushed since he was sixteen "The.. bottom cabinet"

"Thankyou Remus"

"Er.. You're welcome Tonks."

And with that, Sirius Orion Black turned to Mssr. Moony and grinned evilly.

For, unlike some people. Sirius took great joy in Moony's gwakyness.


	3. Attentive

**Attentive**

MissLinuxthePenugin

"Soo." Sirius painfully drawled, taking extra caution to make the word SO as long as possible. "You and Tonks, eh?"

Turning a bright shade of Weasley red, Remus managed to hit Sirius upside the head before replying, "There's nothing to EH about, Padfoot, you prat."

"Moonny" Sirius scowled. Then resumed his cheery aura. "Of course there's lots of things to EH about."

Refusing to dignify such a comment, Remus simply remained silent.

"Hey, wait a minute. She's my twenty-four-year-old cousin you bloody craddle robber!"

It was then Moony decided that the only other living half-way-decent maurader had the attention span of a five year old.

* * *

"Soo..." Tonks painfully drawled, grinning like a rapid chipmunk on crack. "You and Ginny, eh?" 

Glancing towards the door (which had been locked, no doubt), Harry turned a rather pale shade of green.

* * *

"YOU DO REALIZE SHE'S MY COUSIN RIGHT! AND SHE'S LIKE WHAT... SIX (A/N: i know.. but 14 years older? sorry, but its a little far fetched. lets just pretend this is AU okay?) YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU!"

* * *

"You do realize Ron and Fred and George and Percy and Charlie, not to mention BIll, are going to kill you? After all she is their sister - not to mention a year younger than you ... "

* * *

"I SHOULD KILL YOU KNOW FOR EVEN THINKING ABOUT IT..."

* * *

"Although maybe... they might be supportive... Actually now that I think about it they probably will be supportive."

* * *

"But.. HEY! IF you two are together, then Tonks can't date any other gits!"

* * *

"They'll have some twisted logic about how : HEY IF HARRY'S THE GIT DATING OUR YOUNGER SISTER, THEN WE DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ANY OTHER GITS DATING OUR YOUNGER SISTER."

* * *

"Actually I think I approve of this. This is grand! Moony and Tonks! Never suspected this, but hey its a nice surprise ..."

* * *

"Well good luck Harry, hopefully you won't need it."

* * *

"Good Luck Moony, she's got one hell of a temper - you know that right? 


End file.
